no sorry i dont really use instagram, i can contact you via ouija board, spirit box, fluctuations in temperature, flickering lights, and certain rituals. i am also on tumblr.

Ich hatte das Gefühl dass die Marketing-Welt die Feiertage noch nicht zu 100% ausgeschöpft hat, so I came up with some ideas for them

Everybody be on HIGH ALERT... …. ……this could be dangerous 

sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff

but actually genuinely why is the ant sad and leaving with a bindle

thats probably it...

No offense but all the Germans in the comments explaining why this isn’t funny is the funniest part of this to me

Like of course I know it means "We're looking for you". But why are you looking for them? To such their dich?

Accidentally spelled 'agreement' as 'a greement', which is for some reason amusing to me in my sleep deprivation..... a greement.. an greement... just one singular Greement.. #mygreement

"You could get up early and do it before work" I could also wait for a magic beanstalk to start growing in my living room LMAO. Let's focus on things that happen in the real world

looked up the qualifications for working at poison control and you need to have a medical background. that makes perfect sense and if i thought about it for even one minute i could have come to that conclusion myself. but if i ask myself what i was imagining just minutes ago i have to admit that i vaguely imagined that there was a Poisons Handbooks listing all the types of poisons in the whole world and what they do to you and the Poison Control people just flipped through the handbook to see if you were gonna die or not and if so, how and how fast.

fnb memphis

“No, there are children.”

Niklas (4) responding to the question whether there are foreigners in his kindergarten

people who ramble in tags i love you

insane news, today a man in my city stole a bus and just. kept making all the stops.

the Assman rides again

an upstanding citizen of our great city

need a t-shirt that says i had a weird heavily symbolic dream last night please don't talk to me